There’s something different about the beauty of a summer sunrise after you’ve
kissed the night away dreaming about love and even though the outcome of last
night’s festivities didn’t play out the way I had hoped, there was still a slight
chance Diana might ask me over again later in the day. Since it was already too
late to try and salvage some sleep for the day, especially since I slept on the busy
runway of my grandmother’s living room floor, I figured I might as well get up and
do something about one of the embarrassing and regretful mistakes I made just hours
earlier.
kissed the night away dreaming about love and even though the outcome of last
night’s festivities didn’t play out the way I had hoped, there was still a slight
chance Diana might ask me over again later in the day. Since it was already too
late to try and salvage some sleep for the day, especially since I slept on the busy
runway of my grandmother’s living room floor, I figured I might as well get up and
do something about one of the embarrassing and regretful mistakes I made just hours
earlier.
My decision not to go home and
change into something other than the dirty, smelly work clothes I’d worn all day was
just plain idiotic. Never again would Diana see me after work still wearing my
filthy, food stained, green polo shirt, maroon apron, and disheveled khaki pants.
Tonight if she asked me over again, I’d be dressed to impress. Now all I had to do
was find something more appealing to a gorgeous nineteen year old hottie rather than
a dorky, nineteen year old geek. So having thrown caution into the wind, I decided
to bypass all the big discount retailers I usually patronized in favor of the more
upscale and considerably more expensive offerings of the finer clothing
establishments located in the local mall.
change into something other than the dirty, smelly work clothes I’d worn all day was
just plain idiotic. Never again would Diana see me after work still wearing my
filthy, food stained, green polo shirt, maroon apron, and disheveled khaki pants.
Tonight if she asked me over again, I’d be dressed to impress. Now all I had to do
was find something more appealing to a gorgeous nineteen year old hottie rather than
a dorky, nineteen year old geek. So having thrown caution into the wind, I decided
to bypass all the big discount retailers I usually patronized in favor of the more
upscale and considerably more expensive offerings of the finer clothing
establishments located in the local mall.
Like water and oil and cats and
mice, so to were fashion and I. If ever there was an oxymoron it was me being
fashionable. But desperate times called for desperate measures and what I was
compelled to do next required all of the perseverance, will power, and courage I
could muster. I had to willingly shop in a mother and toddler infested mall and pay
for a bunch of overpriced, name brand crap I could have easily gotten cheaper
elsewhere. But then of course, that would have defeated the whole purpose of my
field trip since I wanted the fancy labels, names, and shopping bags that came with
the extravagant prices inside the shopping mall. For one of the few and rare times
in my life, money was no object to me. I was willing to spend and wear whatever it
took to impress Diana…no matter what.
mice, so to were fashion and I. If ever there was an oxymoron it was me being
fashionable. But desperate times called for desperate measures and what I was
compelled to do next required all of the perseverance, will power, and courage I
could muster. I had to willingly shop in a mother and toddler infested mall and pay
for a bunch of overpriced, name brand crap I could have easily gotten cheaper
elsewhere. But then of course, that would have defeated the whole purpose of my
field trip since I wanted the fancy labels, names, and shopping bags that came with
the extravagant prices inside the shopping mall. For one of the few and rare times
in my life, money was no object to me. I was willing to spend and wear whatever it
took to impress Diana…no matter what.
My brief exposure to and
impression of Diana’s fashion tastes, outside of work, led me to believe she was
more of a hippy type of chick who would prefer to wear a necklace of beads or
seashells over a necklace of silver or gold. So after careful consideration and
countless hours of shopping inside the belly of the beast, the shopping mall that
is, I confidently picked out a couple of fashionable short sleeved shirts and some
shorts and just to make sure my selections were as stupendous and trendy as I
thought they were, I asked a young and nicely dressed saleswoman for her opinion on
my obvious good taste in clothing. To say she was dumbfounded and slightly amused
by my fashion choices would be putting it politely at best, the first clue coming
when she asked me if was going on vacation to Hawaii. I thought it was rather
ingenious of me to pick out a couple of colorful, flowered dress shirts in order to
impress a woman with a down to earth demeanor. I could tell by the way the sales
lady was biting her lip she was trying not to laugh at me as I told her what I was
trying to accomplish. She politely recommended a different line of clothing more
suitable for a young lady’s eyes while kindly helping me pick out a couple of silk,
short sleeved collared shirts and a pair of jean shorts. One of the shirts was
black with gold colored leaves while the other one was tangerine colored with an
array of yellowish, greenish shapes and figures that looked very hippy-like, or at
least to me it did.
impression of Diana’s fashion tastes, outside of work, led me to believe she was
more of a hippy type of chick who would prefer to wear a necklace of beads or
seashells over a necklace of silver or gold. So after careful consideration and
countless hours of shopping inside the belly of the beast, the shopping mall that
is, I confidently picked out a couple of fashionable short sleeved shirts and some
shorts and just to make sure my selections were as stupendous and trendy as I
thought they were, I asked a young and nicely dressed saleswoman for her opinion on
my obvious good taste in clothing. To say she was dumbfounded and slightly amused
by my fashion choices would be putting it politely at best, the first clue coming
when she asked me if was going on vacation to Hawaii. I thought it was rather
ingenious of me to pick out a couple of colorful, flowered dress shirts in order to
impress a woman with a down to earth demeanor. I could tell by the way the sales
lady was biting her lip she was trying not to laugh at me as I told her what I was
trying to accomplish. She politely recommended a different line of clothing more
suitable for a young lady’s eyes while kindly helping me pick out a couple of silk,
short sleeved collared shirts and a pair of jean shorts. One of the shirts was
black with gold colored leaves while the other one was tangerine colored with an
array of yellowish, greenish shapes and figures that looked very hippy-like, or at
least to me it did.
Last but not least, I needed to
buy some underwear other than my usual and predictably boring, white cotton briefs.
They weren’t what I needed for the impression I wanted to make on Diana, I needed
something with more pizazz. Something that would show her even though I looked like
a mild mannered goody-goody on the outside, I was a sexual tiger ready to unleash
his beastly passion on the inside. So being the brilliant and romantic guy I was, I
bought a tube of three animal printed briefs symbolizing the zebra, leopard, and
tiger. With spontaneous and romantic planning like this, does it surprise you I
never had a girlfriend or even a platonic female friend during my entire life? I
didn’t think so.
buy some underwear other than my usual and predictably boring, white cotton briefs.
They weren’t what I needed for the impression I wanted to make on Diana, I needed
something with more pizazz. Something that would show her even though I looked like
a mild mannered goody-goody on the outside, I was a sexual tiger ready to unleash
his beastly passion on the inside. So being the brilliant and romantic guy I was, I
bought a tube of three animal printed briefs symbolizing the zebra, leopard, and
tiger. With spontaneous and romantic planning like this, does it surprise you I
never had a girlfriend or even a platonic female friend during my entire life? I
didn’t think so.
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